


"You Gotta Go There To Come Back"

by 994527



Category: MotoGP RPF, Motorcycling RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Turmoil, Fic extras, Fluff, Grand Gestures, M/M, Pocket Dialling, Smut, anything, cuteness I hope, drunken adventures, self therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-05-12 20:48:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5680204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/994527/pseuds/994527
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one shots inspired by the title album by Stereophonics, although no knowledge required! Most are just titles :). If one is more based around the song, it'll say. </p><p>Enjoy...</p><p>1: "Help Me (She's Out of Her Mind)" - Dani/Marc (Rating: E. VERY E.)<br/>2: "Maybe Tomorrow" - Jorge/Marc, past Jorge/Vale (Rating: G)<br/>3: "Madame Helga" - Santi/Marc (Rating: E)<br/>4: "You Stole My Money, Honey" - Dani/Marc (Rating: T)<br/>5: "Getaway" - Jorge/Marc (Rating: T/M)<br/>6: "Climbing The Wall" - past(ish) Jorge/Vale (Rating: T?)<br/>7: "Jealousy" - Dani/Marc (Rating: M?)<br/>8: "I'm Alright (You Gotta Go There To Come Back)" - Dani/Marc (EO17 verse - Please read the warnings in the notes.)<br/>9. "Nothing Precious At All" - Alex/Olivia, Jorge/Bea, Dani/Marc (Something Like Olivia verse - alternate epilogue)<br/>10. "Rainbows and Pots of Gold" - Marc/Vale (T)<br/>11. "I Miss You Now" - Marc/Dani (G)<br/>12. "High As The Ceiling" - Marc/Dani (T)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Help Me (She's Out of Her Mind)"

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I'm absent...and sorry I can't often reply.
> 
> Thank you for reading...some of these maybe aren't as good as I wanted but love y'all <3

Marc: Hey, are you still awake? Saw you on insta

Dani: Just about. What's up?

_Of course you go all silent and then text me at 2am._

Marc: Kind of awkward and everyone else is asleep but I'm trapped in the bar

Dani: Eh?!

Marc: Ok so was drowning my sorrows for a bit and this girl keeps buying me drinks. She won't leave or let me leave.

Marc: Sounds stupid but she will follow me to the lift and she will try and kiss me, I know she will

Dani: Is she hot?

Marc: Dunno really

_Oh shit._

Dani: What?!

Marc: Just not in the mood now so kinda I guess

_Not as hot as you._

Dani: Ok. So what do you want me to do?

Marc: Come and get me? But not make it seem like you're coming to get me so I can play disappointed

Dani: I didn't realise we were 12 :P

Marc: I know. but pleasseeee

Dani: Ok fine give me 5 minutes

Marc: Be quick, she's started shots

Dani: Just leave!

Marc: Please, I know it sounds stupid, but really..

Dani: Ok.

*

"Marc?" The older rider tried to play puzzled, frowning and smiling at him as he walked over, and felt his insides warm a bit at the gratitude on his teammate's face. _Yes, I'm here. Like I ever wouldn't be._ "What are you still doing up?"

"Could ask you the same!"

"Jaja, you could. I'm off now. Not to be the dad kind of older teammate but really you should-"

"Yeah yeah, ok." He played the disappointment before downing the last of his drink and nodding. "I know, you're right." He turned to his companion and gave her a sad face. "Sorry, I need to sleep. Dani's right."

"But baby, we're going to have so much fun-"

 _Baby. Noooooo-_ "Sorry, not tonight. Maybe some other time, eh?" 

"But you can't just leave-" She grabbed his hand as he stood up, Dani watching the flash of panic that went across Marc's face and then stepping closer, his hand gently reaching for her arm.

"Hey, come on. He said no."

"But-"

"No but."

"Yeah, sorry. No but." Marc felt his voice come back and hoped the split second of eye contact with his teammate said enough before he flashed her a smile, Dani moving away slowly with a little wave and him following, and breathed a massive sigh of relief once they were in the lift and the doors were closed, both leaning on the back staring forwards.

"You going to explain?"

"Yeah. It's, er...a bit stupid."

"Well I think this was a bit stupid-"

"Hey!" He smiled and instinctively whacked his teammate lightly on the arm, then blushed about boundaries, and then blushed again at the cheeky little disbelieving smile from Dani. _Oops._ "Ok honestly I didn't know how to get out of it."

"You could have run away?"

"And then she'd follow. Maybe to the lift." The doors pinged and they stepped out into the corridor, both headed the same way and rooms opposite each other. "Then she'd be hands everywhere and I get it, I guess straight single famous guys wouldn't usually say no. And I'd have to try and stop her. Maybe she doesn't listen. Then I have to push her away. She hits her head on the wall or something. Or even nothing, but it's on CCTV and I'm a guy pushing her and context doesn't matter. She sells it. I'm the enemy of Italy, unsporting and also then a fucking wife-beater. Can't be bothered with the chance." They stopped at their rooms, Marc aware the mood had got a bit more serious and Dani kind of staring at him, wondering what to say but with enough emotion in his eyes that it didn't get anywhere near awkward, before the older rider cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"Sorry. I didn't think about that. And she was a bit crazy."

"Don't have to apologise? You rescued me." He grinned and tried to cover the sudden self-consciousness by fluttering his eyelashes with a laugh, smiling at the way Dani's eyes crinkled up at the corners as he grinned back. _You're so spectacular._

"Hmm, least I could do I think. You want a night cap?"

 _A drink. In your hotel room._ He felt himself freeze for a second before remembering the eyes on him and then found himself nodding, mutely following him in and sighing as he sat on the end of the bed and stared at himself in the mirror, relaxed again once over the threshold. _This year, really. This year._

"Beer, wine, or more?"

"Whatever you're having."

"This, then." The older rider pulled a bottle of something deliciously evil looking from behind his bag and grinned, pouring two shot sizes into the water glasses provided by the hotel and passing one over. "Don't tell Livio."

Marc grinned at that, moving up and down slightly as Dani sat next to him on the end of the bed, before they both downed them in silence and then ended up staring at each other in the mirror opposite. 

"You alright?"

"Me? Yeah. Why?"

"Just...this time last year not sure you would have texted me for rescue from a hot girl."

"Maybe not." He smiled slightly and then shrugged, sighing and then half-collapsing back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. "Everything is an effort lately. Well, no. I just mean I have to think about everything."

"I can imagine. Bored of it?"

"Very." Marc felt a tiny shiver as Dani leant down to lie next to him, both now staring upwards and sighing.

"You can talk to me if you want. I know it's a bit weird maybe, teammates and rivals and everything...but we're ok off track, right?"

"We are." _What would I even do-_ "I fucking hope we are, anyway."

"We are for me, don't worry." The older rider let his head drop to the side, suddenly realising how close together they were as Marc's turned to him, eye to eye and trying not to shiver. "And sorry if you don't think I said enough-"

"What?"

"In Malaysia. I didn't want to end up with headlines like Jorge's, and I-"

"Hey, no." Marc shook his head and smiled at him, slight frown at the way the words were said with such conviction, and then felt himself reach out and squeeze Dani's arm slightly. _Oh God that poisonous stuff is kicking in-_ "You didn't have to say anything-"

"Hmm, maybe. I just wish it was someone else, you know? Someone where we all stand up and say 'no', and no one makes excuses for him. But I'm not sure anyone else would have done that anyway. ANYWAY. Sorry. Let's not talk about-"

"You're really on my side?"

 _God, YOU don't even know._ "God I'm sorry you don't even know that. Yes, I'm on your side. This is what I mean. I mean...I don't know." _Wow that stuff was strong._ "I mean it doesn't feel like I had your back and I don't like that."

 _Woah._ Marc took in a little breath at that, mood now somehow so quiet and serious and weirdly intimate, before he found himself turning onto his side, staring back at him across the sheets. "You don't have to have my back."

"I know I don't HAVE to..." Dani smiled at that, turning to mirror him and trying to focus on anything other than the tiny sheen on Marc's lips as his tongue darted out and disappeared again. "And yes I want to kick your ass more than anything and I'll always race you, but...I don't know. I think we're different to other teammates, maybe. Maybe even different to other teams."

"Maybe we are." _You can drop the maybe, unless you know anyone else who feels like I do._ "Good thing?"

"Very good thing." The older smiled and closed his eyes, arm going out lazily to pat Marc on the arm and sighing contentedly. "For me, anyway."

"For me too." The words were suddenly somehow closer, Marc leaning towards him more and moving his arm out to splay his fingers on the mattress, eyes closing too and starting to feel the nerves at being there get really beaten back by the relaxation of saying almost what he wanted and no one telling him to be quiet. _Me too. Maybe the best thing._ "Thanks for saying that."

"No problem." He didn't even think about it, hand going out, eyes still closed, to cover Marc's, and briefly laced their fingers together. Or briefly was the intent, until he seemed to realise what he was doing and froze, the tiny, almost inaudible gasp from his teammate burning through his ears, and started to panic before his heart rate rocketed even further as he felt the hand under his hang on and squeeze. _Oh God what am I doing-_

"Dani?"

"Hmm?"

"Open your eyes."

He did, nervously, terrified that seeing really was going to be believing and believing was going to ruin the exact thing they'd been talking about, before feeling his breath catch at how close Marc's face was to his, younger rider's eyes moving between his eyes and his lips, tongue playing with his lip again; absolute perfection already having an effect on the older rider's crotch. _I wish I was more confident and I wish I could just lean in-_

*

 _This is going to be either the biggest mistake of the year, or make Italy's biggest mistake of the year disappear._ He tried to hold himself there, confidence taking a dive after having told him to open his eyes, staring at each other and wondering why the hell he'd asked him to do that, before his brain kicked into overdrive again as he took in the sight staring back. Nerves, excitement, kindness. _Hope? Lust?_ He willed himself to move and just dive in, insecurity in everything off track heightened over the past few weeks, before a little voice in his brain found the volume switch and cut through the stand off. _You're not that guy. You're this guy. You're Marc, and you fight for what you want. And you trust yourself. And you trust him. And the look on his face._ And then felt himself close the distance, lips finding Dani's and both sets of eyes closing again, thrill of having dared swelling in his chest before the terror at nothing happening briefly took over, stuck together and both somehow paralysed by it.

*

 _Oh my God. Although of course you're the brave one and of course it was written on my face-_ His mind went blank the split second after Marc's lips found his, terror creeping in about what it meant and what was going to happen, before he suddenly felt the little tide of bravery he'd been lacking a few moments before flow through him, arm going round the younger rider to pull him in and lips parting enough to encourage, soft moan soon echoing between them as Marc melted into him and their tongues met, gentle at first until it seemed to sink in for both that they were both completely committed, Dani finding himself covered in rival rider as he rolled onto his back and Marc ended up pinning him down, fingers lacing together again either side of Dani's head and crotches grinding together and teasing, another groan as the younger rider thrust them together and then suddenly pulled away, staring down and panting, eyes black and questioning. _You really think I'm going to say anything but yes-_

*

 _Just say it. He's not running. He's tangling his legs around yours and pulling you in._ "Fuck me."

_Oh my God._

"You like guys? You like me?"

"Y-yeah-"

"Then fuck me. _Please._ " He watched the shiver of desire that sent through his teammate and felt his confidence skyrocket again, leaning down into another kiss and pulling his bottom lip between his teeth before pressing his lips against Dani's ear and lowering his voice to a whisper. " _Please, just FUCK me._ "

*

 _Jesus._ That sent the state of his crotch from _aroused_ to _painful_ , hips involuntarily giving that away as they twitched towards Marc, before he found them eye to eye again, look on the younger rider's face something he imagined he'd remember forever, and quickly went through the maelstrom in his brain. _Bad idea. Teammate. Younger. Bit drunk. Feeling fragile. But Marc. Beautiful. Incredible. And mainly..._ He leaned up into another kiss, nodding and fingers pushing under his teammate's shirt to feel the muscles in his back, and then started pulling it over his head. _Mainly I believe you'd be asking that if we were sober and you'd had the best year ever. If either of us had dared._

Marc's shirt off was quickly followed by his, everything passing in a clumsy haze but mood moving back from nerves into something between absolute desperation and giggly happiness, until they were both left only in boxers and his chest was heaving as Marc crawled down him, mouth trailing a line of saliva, teeth marks and kisses to the hem of his boxers and then hot breath teasing through the fabric making Dani moan at the ceiling. And then again as _those_ lips closed around him, questions about Marc's experience all disintegrating as it did and he found himself writhing around, firm hands holding him there and trying not to abuse it and thrust into it, before he got swallowed down and opened his eyes, Marc's trained on his and watering slightly as he controlled the gag reflex and then pulled back again, something on his face saying enough and twinkling smile communicated from his eyes as Dani let himself go and thrust into the heat, swearing at the ceiling and fingers tangling in his teammate's hair.

*

 _Ok. Too close._ He pulled back again, desperate whine from his teammate making his cock twitch again, and then moved back up to connect their lips, kiss messy now and Dani almost wrecked already, eventually moving his lips to his ear again and almost growling the words. "Do you know what you're doing-"

"Yess-"

"Then fuck me, _please._ " He made him yelp slightly as he ground them together again before the older rider obviously snapped and turned them over, pinning Marc's hands above his head on the mattress and kiss authoritative again, slight copper tang. 

"So impatient." The wicked grin almost made Marc come in his boxers, chest heaving and hips straining, agreeing with but hating the words. Dani seemed to feel that and leant down into another, softer kiss, before repeating Marc's trick and moving slowly down him, boxers soon gone and air con shivering over the trail of saliva, before licking a wet stripe up Marc's length and feeling the bed tremor as the younger groaned and swore, covered in sweat and hands now tangled in the sheets either side of him. He teased for a few seconds, enraptured by the reactions, before teasing his tongue over his hole and feeling the hair on the back of his neck stand up as Marc _mewled._

"Please please please please-"

"Shhhh." He nodded into another kiss, first finger now pushing inside lubed as best he could manage with only his mouth to use, and teased the tightness until Marc bucked again, second finger added and finding his prostate, Dani's back flaring with little stabs of pain as desperate fingernails clawed at him and another round of begging spilled from the younger. He added a third, a bit rougher and still only desperation coming back at him, before Marc underlined his intentions and nipped his lip, hard enough to make a point. The older rider slowly started to push inside, breath hot on his cheek as his teammate moaned through it and wrapped his legs around him, and felt himself growl as he bottomed out, feeling even better than he'd fantasised about for way too long and finding himself leaning forehead to forehead as they caught their breath. Tentative at first, kiss slow and sloppy and timed to perfection as his hips pushed them together and pulled them apart, first few thrusts more to test Marc's reactions before he hit his prostate and the younger rider's nail dug into his ass cheeks, pulling them together and words mumbled out in the kiss.

"I'm not going to break, Dani." His name made him shiver again. "Harder. As hard as you can."

"I don't want to-"

"You're not going to hurt me." He tangled one hand in Dani's hair and pulled his head down to be able to whisper in his ear, pause suddenly so intimate. "Fuck me into the mattress and make me _scream._ "

That made his arms involuntarily tremble slightly as they held him up before one last glance passed between them and he nodded, kissing him again how he actually wanted to and most definitely drawing blood from his lip, and then rammed inside him again, Marc grunting through it and stealing hungry kisses as he nodded and pulled them together, still encouraging, Dani thrusting again and growling through it as it really seemed to click that this was wanted, that making the older rider jump off the proverbial cliff and let go of his control. His hips snapped harder and harder as they inched their way up the mattress towards the headboard, both unconsciously clawing for closeness, sweat trickling down his chest and effort making both of them grunt, lost and noises sending both just insane enough with the knowledge of what they were doing to each other, until the noise Marc was making changed, getting higher and back starting to arch, head pushed back and breath coming out in shorter gasps, not needing to say it for it to be obvious and trying to muffle the unsteady whine. Dani's hand wrapped around his cock and stroked in sync, only a few needed before he screamed at the ceiling and his eyes rolled back, Dani's name echoing around the room before he was spilling over his stomach and Dani's hand, letting the rush go through him as his muscles contracted around his teammate. He let himself just collapse, elastic and passive, legs splayed open to let Dani take as much as he wanted, barely aware of what should have been the pain of how rough it was but feeling more sated than he could remember for a long time, and then came back to reality as Dani growled over the edge and came inside him, suddenly still but shuddering over him and in him, another huge rush as he felt it and found the older rider's lips for that extra connection. The tiny voice squeaking in his head that unprotected and rough sex was a terrible idea got drowned out as the older rider collapsed on him and they got stuck together in that deliciously disgusting mixture of come and sweat, Dani's face buried in the crook of his neck and Marc's hand instinctively running gently through his hair, whispering in his ear and both letting the afterglow burn off for a few blissful seconds. _Oh fucking wow._ The quiet of the room seemed to gradually get louder as they lay there before he heard himself whimper and winced as Dani slowly pulled out, that more lubricated as a few dribbles of come seeped out with it, Marc's brain paralysed by a sudden little shiver of panic at what they did now made even worse as he felt the older rider get off the bed and disappear into the bathroom, keeping his eyes shut and letting his breath come back as he bit his lip, trying to relax and take in oxygen. He held his breath as the bathroom door opened again and footsteps returned, before moaning slightly as a warm cloth started to clean his stomach off, sensitive and suddenly aware again how intimate this was, and then felt his mind explode as a tongue traced a gentle line from the sheets to his hole, catching the little drip and kissing his inner thigh, low and quiet "relax, we need to clean up" sending sparks through him, trying to open his eyes and suddenly frozen again as he listened to the footsteps go back in the bathroom. _God Dani you seriously didn't-_ He managed to open his eyes as he heard the tap go on, pulling himself up slightly to lie with his head on the pillow at least, and then felt his cock twitch again as the older rider appeared in the doorway again, ruffled and glorious and covered in sweat, completely naked and drying his hands, staring at him and then throwing the towel behind him into the bath and walking back over to the bed. _I swear I could go again just from looking at you._

"Fuck me again." He let his eyes wander up Dani's torso until they locked on his. "Please."

Dani felt his blood rush back to his crotch at the sight of it, more having expected him to be running off and wondering how Marc had read his mind. _Yeah because once wasn't stupid enough._ "I don't think-"

"I do." The younger held his gaze and let his legs fall open again, exposed and watching the effect that had, mood charged with that same shiver of electricity, and traced his finger up Dani's forearm, watching its path intently before looking up at him again and feeling another jolt of desperation as the older's eyes seemed mesmerised by the offer. He pulled him down into a kiss, gentler and that very reciprocated, before turning over and then looking back, eyebrows raised in a silent challenge and eyes black. "Fuck me again." He watched as the decision seemed to be made, the older rider soon straddling him and kisses littered across his back making his skin shiver, before pushing back against him and feeling his own cock respond at the hardness. _Knew it._ "Please." He groaned and buried his head in the pillow as Dani finally pushed inside, no preparation this time and both groaning at the realisation of why, remaining dribbles of evidence from a few minutes ago making lube unneeded this time instead of not found, and left his hands to be grabbed by the older rider's, fingers lacing together and Dani's body covering his, thrusts more gentle and taking their time, perfectly in sync and slowly starting to unravel.

*

"Don't blush."

"Don't stare."

"That's never going to happen." Dani sat back down next to him and smiled into a kiss, Marc suddenly the same nervous mess from the bar, and felt another rush of confidence as he saw the difference that made. _You screamed my name, twice. We fucked, twice. You let me come inside you, twice._ "Sleep or shower?"

The younger rider felt his mouth drop open and tried to hide it before going red again as that proved way too late. _Shit._ "You, er...you mean here..?"

"You really think I'm going to kick you out?"

"Well I don't know."

"You want me to?"

"NO." The quick, definite answer made him blush again. _Smooth-_

"Good." The older rider managed to pull him over to the bathroom, a small flash of guilt at the wincing Marc did as he walked, and then turned on the shower and backed him into it, tongues tangling in another kiss and trying to say everything that he was scared to say if he actually said the word _stay,_ fingers massaging his shoulders and then down his back and his ass, his teammate melting against him and leaning over his shoulder. _Bliss._

*

 _Bliss._ Marc let himself get pushed into the shower, amazed this still wasn't over and the scene-stealer of a kiss slowly starting to attack the doubts, before just giving into it and leaning into him, out the stream of the water and content to just stand there for a while pretending they were there to get clean, deliciously evil blush hitting his cheeks as he felt a dribble trace it's way to the floor. _That's not water._ "I hope you don't think I do this all the time because I don't. I'm safe and I know-"

"Me too." The older rider pulled away enough to get eye contact, watching Marc's open and that making him catch his breath, before leaning into another kiss and pulling them back under the shower. "Or maybe I mean me neither?"

*

Dani pecked him on the lips again once they were towelled off and back at the bed, nothing much else said and neither daring to breach it, moving round to get in the other side and then turning off the light before any more questions could be asked. _Me neither. Maybe never go back to your room, yeah?_ He waited nervously, breath slightly held and hoping he hadn't read this all wrong, before smiling into the dark as Marc settled down under the sheet, close enough and confidence from before evaporated but Dani's enough to compensate. He found Marc's cheek with his hand and gently pulled him into a kiss, cupping his face and then tracing his fingers down his ribs until his arm was around his waist and holding them together, that obviously enough to kill the nerves and kiss getting deeper and slower, wrapping each other up and saying a few things in it they didn't dare say out loud, before they shared a few last pecks on the lips and Marc moved down to rest his head on his chest, arm slung around the older man and murmur of satisfaction vibrating across Dani's skin as a kiss hit the top of his head. _You're staying. And I didn't have to ask._

__

_Sorry, hot girl from the bar. I've got Dani Pedrosa._


	2. "Maybe Tomorrow"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you <3 this is just a baby one...

"Come back to bed, babe."

"Hmm." Jorge nodded, still frowning out at the view, and then sighed and leant into the touch as Marc's hands started massaging his shoulders. "Sorry. I know."

 _I know and I know what's haunting you and I know nothing I say is going to ever take that away and I'm terrified that will one day be the reason why you walk out of here and don't look back._ "It's ok. I know, too." He bent down to plant a kiss in his hair, breathing in that intoxicating mixture of Jorge that had first caused the whole mess they were now in, and then rested his chin on his rival's head and sighed, eyes of both trained on the same thing. "You know I love you?"

 _I know, and I can't describe how that feels._ "I know."

"And you know that I understand how you feel."

"Yup."

"Good. Because I do, and I feel it too. But please don't waste any more time on it-"

"Marc?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not wasted. It's getting better because I'm thinking about it."

"Hmm. Kind of feels like it's staying the same because you're letting yourself think that."

"Hmm." _That's annoyingly possible._ He sighed again before dragging himself up from the chair and turning to look at the younger man, breath catching slightly at the perfection outlined in the low light. _I believe you when you say you love me and I need to believe you when you say you didn't send him that message. And what's easier to fake, falling in love with me or a screenshot on a phone?_ "Let's go to bed." He smiled at the little smile of relief and followed him up the stairs, even the lamp light going off inside making the snow on the mountains glinting in the moon look as bright as it had done, and then stared at the ceiling for a few seconds in the bed, letting Marc's body heat warm him through and taking a deep breath before reaching for his phone and typing, the younger man not questioning and waiting until it was sent and put back to pull him into a kiss, maybe guessing what he was doing. _Ok. I believe you. And maybe tomorrow that will prove the best decision I ever made._

*

Jorge: As hard as it is to believe, I'm sorry that you didn't win a tenth this year. I'm sorry that everything happened the way it did, and I'm sorry you feel you've been wronged. I'm sorry you now seem to think that what happened between us was a game on my part, and I'm sorry that so much we seemed to have mended is broken again. The problem is, it was never a game and it hurt as much the first time as it does now. I know Yamaha hurt you before but you know it wasn't all them, too, and you've told me that. Apologised for everything back then and I apologised for my half. And I never meant you to find out about me and Marc - just because I know how that would feel in reverse. In 2013 I wondered if it WAS true in reverse. But that's not an excuse for what you've done. I know everything happened at the wrong time and people make mistakes under pressure, but you're still doing it. Still sat there watching it happen, too. Still sending me messages. I think Marc raced hard in Sepang but I think he had to, after what you said. And more than that, I believe him when he promises me he didn't let our relationship affect what happened on track in Valencia. I believe him because he's earnt that. It's easier to fake a screenshot than it is to fake spending your life with someone and I'm sorry if that hurts you, but that's the truth.

If you want to talk, really talk, ok. If you want to keep digging this hole and sending us in circles, just stop. Everyone hates it and however much you won't admit it, it started with you. If you want to get involved any more, talk to me through a lawyer. Let go and move on, I have.

Goodbye x


	3. "Madame Helga"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll :D thanks! Enjoy...
> 
> The place was chosen due to the song, that's all really. Although it works quite well ;)

Hector: I know I annoyed you with the advice yesterday but pick up your fucking phone

Hector: Marc come on

Hector: Marc?

*

Hector: Have you seen your brother?

Alex: Not since last night going mental. Probably asleep

Hector: It's the afternoon

Alex: Depends on your timezone

Hector: Ok wiseass, thanks for nothing

*

Emilio: Have you seen Marc?

Hector: Was just about to text you the same thing

Emilio: Right

Hector: I'm at the hotel now, I'll check his room

Emilio: Thanks

*

Hector: Have you seen Marc?

Julia: Not since last night

Hector: Ok, thanks

*

Hector: Room is empty and no one slept in the bed

Emilio: Right...

Hector: Could be fun, could be worrying

Emilio: It's always fucking worrying

Hector: jaja. I'll text around.

*

Hector: Anyone seen my rider? The older one

Tito: Nope, sorry!

Rhys: Nope and bloody hell not again

Guille: No?

Jorge: No and did you mean to include me?!

Carlos: No...

Dani: No!?

Denis: no...

*

Hector: I have 19 replies and sent out 20 messages

Emilio: Let me guess...

Hector: Yes.

Emilio: Not again

*

"Urgghhhhhhhhhh." The Repsol Honda rider groaned and turned over slightly, everything foggy and painful, before trying to sit up and then pitching sideways as he threatened to throw up and tried to aim it away from soft furnishings. _Oh Jesus what a hangover._ "URGHHHHH."

"Shhhh."

He frowned at that, just about steady enough to risk turning round, and then whacked his hand over his mouth and froze as that proved a lie. _God did we die?!_ "Wake up. I think we died."

"Shhhh." The older man flailed his arm out to whack him on the arm and then pulled the duvet further over himself, leaving Marc staring down at himself, very naked and now exposed, muttering about manners. _Great._

"Santi. We have to leave today, wake the fuck up."

"NO."

That made him giggle slightly, the older man joining in before a pained groan.

"I know mate but it's bright sun and probably the afternoon. I'll just go and..." _Be violently sick._ "...raid the mini bar for mineral water, ok?"

He accepted the grimace as a "yes" and then cast his eyes around the room, now more able to focus and blood starting to run cold. _Oh fuck. Oh fuck fuck fuck._ "This isn't my room."

"Wh.."

"Seriously, wake up. It's not my room. Or your room." _Or any fucking room I've seen before._ "Santi. WAKE UP."

*

Hector: Last communication seems to be with Alex last night/this morning at about 3am. Snapchat with santi, both drunk. Alex only just watched it.

Emilio: Right. Where?

Hector: Take a deep breath

Emilio: Fuck

Hector: KLIA terminal 2

Hector: And yes his passport is gone too

*

"What?" 

"WAKE UP." The younger man managed to pull himself out of the bed, almost crawling towards the door, before managing to open it and then swearing, apparently a door to a public beach and a very well lit one, making him groan again and then slam the door shut, just about remembering his nakedness. "WE'RE IN A BEACH HOTEL." He wretched slightly before giving in and heaving into the waste paper basket, unable to not check what the evidence looked like and then getting grossed out, before turning back to look at the bed, Santi now cowering against the headboard from the light and the noise, but upright at least. 

"Probably just near wherever we were-"

"Malaysia."

"Right. Probably just went in somewhere close."

The younger rider stared at him, not buying that and details of the room and the view starting to sink in, before yanking out the hotel information book and closing his eyes, not sure how to process that. _Sure._ "We're in Sri Lanka."

*

Emilio: Right. Call Air Asia. Get details of where. Keep calling him. And Santi. When is the flight?

Hector: Supposed to be tonight at 9

Emilio: Ok. Cancel that. Check him out of his room and then call me back. Ok?

Hector: Yep no problem

Emilio: Thank you

*

"WHAT." He heaved as he said it and held up his hand in apology, just holding it in. _Urgh we really did die._

"I don't remember. I don't remember anything past..." Marc trailed off as his memory caught up a little and blushed, looking away. _Ah._ "Past...the drinks in my room."

"Me neither." The older man shared the blush slightly before suddenly seeming to realise Marc was naked and trying to avert his eyes. _God don't look, don't look. You already touched! Don't look-_ "Sri Lanka?"

"Apparently." _Fucking hell and I'm naked._ He coughed slightly, moving not-too-obviously behind a chair, and then leant on it and stared back. _Although feels like it's not the second time you saw it and now I definitely can't move because GOD the things you did-_ He went a bit redder as his cock twitched in response to the realisations and memories, before taking a deep breath and then shrugging. "Any idea where your phone is?"

"Nope."

"Any idea why we're in Sri Lanka?"

"Nope."

_Just do it._ "Any idea why my ass is sore?"

*

Hector: Colombo

Emilio: Oh fuck. Thought you'd say singapore or Bali or somewhere sensible

Hector: Could be worse

Emilio: Really?

Hector: Could be Bangkok...

Emilio: How is that worse?

Hector: Marc drunk and pissed off in Bangkok? Way worse! He'd fuck something stupid

Emilio: What?!!!

Hector: You know, right?

Emilio: Know what?!

Hector: Er...Bang-cock..?

Emilio: WHAT?!

*

"Ha." The older went went pink and surreptitiously rearranged the sheets. "No..."

"Really?" _Call Alex. Pass on a message. Get food. Wait for instructions. Ok that is a plan._ "I must have had a fun night."

"I guess so..."

"Only remember bits and pieces though. Shame."

"Shame?"

_HA._ "Well from what I remember it was a really high quality fuck." He let that sit between them, watching the reactions in the older man, before feeling another wave of confidence as he rearranged the sheet again. _What are we going to do, anyway, waste the hotel room?_ "I guess I'll just have to forget all about it and let Alex know where we are..."

"Yeah I guess." Nervous laugh. "Best get back..."

"Yeah. Would be stupid to enjoy the room we've obviously paid for on this beach in paradise..."

"Ok, Marc-"

"You really don't remember."

"Yes, I remember but-"

"Oh, good." He grinned, watching the predatorial new tone of his voice shiver through his crew chief, before walking out from behind the chair and back towards the bed, thoughts running through his mind already making his cock half stand to attention. And that definitely not lost on the older man. "I remember enough." He got to the bed, staring down at him and one eyebrow raised in a challenge, before finding himself tangled in Santi and feeling a flash of guilt at the taste in his mouth. That didn't last long as he got pinned to the bed and growled at the nip of pain as the older man's nails dug in, restraint gone.

"I'm surprised you want to remember."

"I'm surprised you think I wouldn't." He twitched his hips up, watching the older man's reaction to that, and then pushed him back and off to pin him down instead, eyes locked together and mouth starting the journey from neck to crotch, eventually settling his eyes on Santi's very very hard, very very eager cock and then looking back up at him with that evil glint. "Relax..."

"Says you..."

"Yeah, says _me_." He gave him one more evil grin before closing his hand around his cock and then swallowing him whole, head bobbing until he thought he was going to choke and then finally something washing away the taste of the hangover, both lying dormant staring at the ceiling for way too long, wondering what the fuck to do next and Marc starting to feel slightly irritated by the obvious tent in the sheet that the older man seemed intent on doing nothing about. _What about me-_

"We should get back-"

"We should." 

Marc let himself lie there a few more minutes, fingers playing patterns on his chest, before climbing on top of him again and feeling the response, eyes never leaving the older man's as he reached around and prepared himself, roughly and quickly but well enough and hunger in the eyes looking back almost enough to make him groan, and then sank down onto his cock and bit his lip, hips moving them enough to make Santi moan at him and kiss getting messier. _God I love the noises you make._ He kept the rhythm going as he watched him start to fall apart, moaning through it and fingernails scrabbling at his chest to hold onto him and get the angle right to make him hit the spot, and then nodded and groaned into another kiss at the word 'close', eyes rolling back as Santi's hand worked his cock between them and they collapsed in a puddle of sweat and stickiness, crew chief wiping his hand on the sheet and then Marc ending up lying in it, caring enough to wince but not enough to move.

"Ok this time you're not fobbing me off with all this 'I'm not gay' bullshit-"

*

Marc: Sri Lanka with Santi, oops. Tell them not to panic, we're coming back

Alex: I think they'll kill you

Alex: And no don't, there's a flight being booked for you from there back to BCN

Marc: Oh ok, cheers :)

Alex: You should probably reply to Hector and Emilio...

*

Marc: I'm not dead

Hector: THANK GOD. We know. Where the fuck are you? How? What happened?

Hector: Answer my call!

Marc: Sorry can't talk right now, I've got my mouth full

Hector: Not funny. Eat at the airport on the way back home ffs

Marc: Aww you thought I meant food ;) 

Hector: Urgh just make sure he won't sell you out

Marc: Nah it's ok, santi likes his job too :P

Hector: WHAT!

Hector: MARC?!!

Hector: WHAT THE FUCK?!


	4. "You Stole My Money, Honey"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! Replying now :) <3

_God, what a mess. I should never have let her anywhere near this._ He sighed, feeling more just tired of it than really that bothered, or trying to convince himself of that, before picking up his phone as it pinged.

Marc: Thought your criminal days were over :P

Dani: Pfff

Dani: They are, this is just a fuck up

Dani: Let my ex recommend the accountant and then forgot about it

Dani: She's also helped herself to a credit card

Marc: Oh ouch, sorry :/ was just trying to lighten the mood! In your tax haven or at home?

Dani: Home is the 'tax haven' :P like yours is :P but no I'm in Catalunya

Marc: Ouch

Marc: Fine :P

Dani: Classic Marquez. Gives it but can't take 

Marc: Omg you didn't...

Dani: Did. Sorry I'm in that mood where everything's just urgh

Marc: Wondered where this sense of humour had come from

Dani: :P ok now be quiet whilst I wonder where all my friends went

Marc: Aww what?

Marc: I'm doing the same. Meet up?

Dani: It's 10pm

Marc: We're not 40...well I'm not :P

Dani: Urgh

Dani: You're in Cervera then?

Marc: Yup. Alone and fucking bored. Where are you?

Dani: Parents house. Alone and fucking bored

Marc: Had anything to drink?

Dani: Yeah actually maybe a bit much

Marc: I haven't. Send me the address and I'll bring popcorn if I make it there without eating it

*

"Hellooo..." The younger rider grinned at him as he opened the door and raised the popcorn bag. _You actually look pretty in need of a hug._

"Hi." _Oh wow._ He always forgot, somehow, how hot Marc looked in normal clothes. "Come in."

The younger did, eventually settling down next to him on the sofa and movie passing quickly, wine bottle drained even quicker, before they were both left staring at the credits and Marc's voice made his teammate jump.

"Are you ok?"

_You're actually really a very nice person._ The way Marc was looking at him made the decision for him between 'he was probably just bored too' and 'he knows I kind of needed somebody'. "Not really, to be honest. Well, yeah. Just...I don't know."

"Talk to me." He turned further towards him, elbow propped on top of the back of the sofa, and let the fingers of his other hand absentmindedly prod the older rider slightly. "I think you've got more ammo on me... whatever you say."

"Hmm." _Really?_ "Although I wouldn't call that ammo since I agree with you."

"Maybe." Another smile. "Come on, tell me."

"Ok, really? It's weird. I was so happy with her for so long, then we were kind of just friends who sometimes ended up more. Kind of thought that's how it went in a long term relationship. Then she cheated, although she only kissed someone, and I went a bit crazy and cheated properly right before we split up. And we were kind of ok when we split up and then she ends up with this new guy - the one she kissed, too - and fucks off with a pile of money, and it just feels like nothing was how it seemed."

_Ouch. Worse than I thought._ "You really didn't evade it on purpose?"

"No. I don't really care to be honest, I want to be sensible with it but I want to be legal. Moral seems to have a flexible definition, especially this year."

_Hmm._ "You mean me-"

"No!" He frowned at him and then squeezed his arm slightly. "No, I DO NOT mean YOU."

"Ok." _Thank God._ "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah..?"

"There's nothing else? No other reason why it didn't work...why you felt free when you left _her_..." He stressed the pronoun and raised his eyebrows. "Is there?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...she's very hot. Don't think that would fizzle out without another reason.." _So are you._

_You fucking know._ The way he suddenly stared back at him must have said enough because Marc started to smile; not the press conference one or the giggly one, the real, content one that reached his eyes and then some. "Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

"I don't know, Pedrosa. Is it the kind of thing that would cross my mind if I didn't have a reason to think about it?"

_What._ He kept staring, mouth suddenly dry and aware of every tiny bit of visible skin on the man in front of him, and then took a deep breath and broke the eye contact to look back at the now black TV screen. "What kind of reason-"

"The kind of reason that makes my jeans tight when I look at you." He moved in closer, hand resting on Dani's leg, and let his lips get as close to his ear as he dared, watching the older man close his eyes and shiver slightly. _Knew it._ "The kind of reason that makes me drive down here in the middle of the night just to sit next to you and watch shit movies."

"The movie was good-"

"Dani-" The slightly desperate, whiny change in his voice, and hearing his name, seemed to prove the tipping point the older rider needed to turn to him and capture him into a kiss, so much pent up frustration seeming to pour into it, hands tangling around each other and ending up splayed on the sofa trying to get their breath back, Marc's eyes staring down at him from where he'd ended up half on top of him and making him shiver. _Wow._

"This is a really bad idea-"

The younger rider cut that off with another breath-stealing masterpiece and then pulled away enough to look at him again, hand cupping his cheek. "We can't sell each other out, we have the same schedule, and I want you for more than just sex."

The word said so normally, and the possibility that was suddenly real enough for him to feel it through his jeans, make his mind go blank with the desperation. "Seriously."

"I've come up with worse ideas..." _Come on._ He ground them together slightly and felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as Dani whimpered slightly. _Oh God PLEASE, come on. Come on ME-_

"Yeah, you have." The older rider got a bit of composure back, hands sliding gently under Marc's shirt and exploring his back slightly as he pulled him into another, gentler kiss, and then shifted down until they were side by side on the sofa, hand holding Marc's gaze steady on his. "Don't want my heart broken again, Marquez. Or my traction control."

The younger smiled again, nodding and pecking him on the lips, before moving his hand down his back and squeezing his ass, cheesy words just about out before their lips connected again. "I won't break your heart but I like how you're considering letting me have it..."

_Think you've already got it. But that would be ridiculous._ "Bedroom. Now."

*

"Morning..."

_Marc is here. What?!_ He cracked open one eye, brain taking a while to catch up, before feeling warmth spread through him as he remembered everything and blinked his way back to reality. And what a reality.

"Close your mouth, you'll drool."

Dani felt himself blush, coughing slightly and rearranging the sheets he hoped not too obviously, and then fake glared and held up his middle finger whilst he took the offered coffee with a badly hidden smile. "Apparently I'm allowed to drool over you, now."

"You can do anything you want to me, babe." The younger grinned, loving the effect his bed hair and boxers were having on his teammate, and then laid the breakfast tray down on the bed and went and got back in the other side, starting to munch on a slice of toast and feeling his heart double-tap as a gentle kiss hit his cheek.

"Good because I have a long list."

"Good." He wiggled his eyebrows slightly, moving the tray out the way, before pulling him into a kiss and resting their foreheads together, arms loosely round his neck and lips almost touching. "And just me, right?"

"Yeah." _Always._ "Just you."


	5. "Getaway"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! <3

Jorge: Still on for dinner?

Marc: Yeah :)

Jorge: Good! See you in a bit then

Marc: :)

*

Jorge: All set?

Alex: Yup. Bag is here for you to pick up :D

Jorge: :D thanks! See you in a bit :)

Alex: :D

*

“Hey.”

“Hi.” _It’s still weird. You’re Jorge Lorenzo._ “Come in.” The younger brother beamed and ushered him in, pointing to the bag on the sofa. 

“Great. Passport?”

“Yup. Top pocket.”

“Great. And he has no idea..?”

“No idea. He’s kind of pissed off you haven’t offered to go to Lugano to escape the crazy for a while…”

“I bet he is.” The Mallorcan grinned at him before picking up the bag and then tapping him on the arm on the way out. “Thanks!”

*

“Hey.”

“Hello.” Jorge grinned at him, still a little passive aggressive round the edges for the reasons Alex had given, before pulling him into a kiss and feeling it fade until Marc’s arms were draped round his neck, breath short and they were forehead to forehead. “I’ve missed you like hell.” Smugness of the plan gone for a second, the Yamaha rider leant into another, softer kiss, feeling the little tremor go through the younger rider and holding on tighter on purpose. 

“I’ve missed you too. So much. I don’t know why-“

“Because I had to be around these last few days.”

“Why.”

_So petulant by accident._ “Because…” He pulled away and ran his fingers through Marc’s hair, smile coming back. “Then I didn’t have to explain where I’m going now.”

“This is one night, ok-“

“Is it?”

“Well you said-“

“Yeah, I did.” He smiled as he saw that sink in, nodding and starting to beam back at him, before raising his eyebrows. “Lied about this week in the Maldives on a private beach that I’ve booked though-“

“What?!”

“Just you.” Kiss. “And me.” Kiss. “And a whole week. Sound good?”

“Sounds amazing but when-“

“In about 3 hours and I already have your bag because your brother was in on it.”

“WHAT?!” Grinning now, slightly overemotional at all the time spent wondering if maybe ‘I love you’ meant different things to each of them, Marc pulled him into another kiss before boosting himself up to wrap his legs around him and get carried back from the dining table to the sofa, Hector away and his house, but his warning ringing in Marc’s ears. _You can have dinner and if you must use the guest room but please-_ He gasped as his neck got littered with little kisses and bruises, losing his t shirt quickly, before feeling another little shiver as Jorge’s fingers snapped the button on his jeans and they both wriggled free, eventually. _Please don’t fuck on the sofa. Oops._

He did a quick calculation of the maths, dinner maybe 15 minutes and airport maybe an hour away, before relaxing back and letting himself go, content they had more than enough time and breath already hitching from the teasing, before wrapping his legs around the Mallorcan’s waist as he slowly pushed inside and they paused for another kiss, gasping his way over the edge a while later and Jorge collapsing the same, stuck together and feeling a few stresses already fade.

“Also, congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

“Realised I only said it on the phone, so far. Well, properly.” He smiled as Jorge’s head popped up from nestled against him and craned slightly into the kiss, appreciation almost glowing up from him. “Congratulations and I love you. And thank you-“

“Don’t.”

“Thank you for this. I can’t wait.”


	6. "Climbing the Wall"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can guess who this centers around ;) :/.
> 
> Hmm..some stuff mentioned is real life horror. Just short, and therapeutic. For me, anyway. ♥

Jorge: I mean it. This is done. If it wasn’t too far on track, it’s too far now off track. You’ve haven’t changed at all and that was what you promised.

Vale: You’re really taking his side?

Jorge: There’s a difference between your racing, as it has been, some contact…and what happened in Malaysia. The difference is you did it on purpose

Jorge: So no, I don’t give a fuck who the other guy was, but what you did is enough

Jorge: And where you did it

Jorge: Where you fucking did it is too much

*

“Hey, you ok?”

The Italian smiled, nodding to the side and downing the last of the wine, before putting down the glass and staring himself down in the reflection in the window, Uccio taking another bottle to where they were sat outside, laughing and drinking and smoking, heaters enough with the blankets to keep them warm enough. _Am I ok, good question._ He poured another glass, biting his lip slightly and feeling his blood boil again as the Mallorcan’s message flashed through his brain, before grinding his teeth and taking a deep breath, another voice on the right to add to the one on the left telling him he was right. _You’re not, though. You’re just playing me better than I ever tried and you don’t even realise._ Another sip. _Right?_

He smiled down into the glass as Linda walked in, arms going round him from behind and kiss planted on his shoulder, before listening to himself reply to whatever she’d said, tiny snippets of memory hitting him from Jorge there, Jorge doing that, Jorge storming out, him following and yes, making those promises. _That I’ve apparently broken. But those promises were with you. Not with him. Not him, with his dirty tactics and fucking lying._ He suddenly saw a flash of Marc that first weekend in Qatar, just before the press conference, waiting there. How he’d turned round and seen who it was. The tiny flash of utter delight before he’d got it under control and tried to greet him like he was any other rider. The pressure of people asking when he’d come to the ranch. The genuine excitement and the guilt he felt, and ignored, for why he’d actually asked. And the paranoia. And the incredible challenge of racing him there. And the stupid fucking mechanics that had been such a big deal.

 _The crash in Argentina where I know I didn’t look. I didn’t think he’d be there but-_ He took another sip, giving her another answer, before nodding and letting himself get lead back outside. _And Assen. What he said. What he inferred then? Fucking prick._ The other voice came back, now on the way through the door and everyone cheering the arrival, or return. _What I said on Thursday. But what he did in Australia._

“Ciao.”

_What they’re writing about the race in Australia, now. The people who clap me for Laguna 2008._

“Who wants more wine?”

_That moment where I honest to God didn’t give a fuck about the consequences._

“Pizza soon, eh? Patience.”

_That moment under the bridge in Japan when I saw the sparks fly off your bike and knew I’d do it again. Because you have to beat me, too, even when I’m leaving. You have to beat me to lift that crown-_

“No, not yet. Just ordered. You want to call back already, eh?”

_Which I guess is what he was thinking when he was trying to hold onto it too-_

“Think I might just go for a walk. Back in 10 minutes, ok?”

_And that moment when I promised I’d changed._ Another sip. _I guess I have one way or another._

*

Vale: What do you honestly think?

Dani: Who is this?

Vale: You deleted my number, I guess that’s my answer. It’s Vale.

Dani: Oh. I think you made a mistake on track and it was dangerous.

Vale: Right. And everything else you said in public?

Dani: Not quite. I think all this bullshit off track shows me you need new friends.

Dani: Do you have any you don’t pay?


	7. "Jealousy"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! <3

_God. God, it’s getting worse._

He sat up again, stretching out towards the ceiling and then slumping into a sigh, before nodding to himself through a teasing lie of a yawn and making his way downstairs. _You’re not even close to me. You’re miles away and still…_

He pulled a beer out the fridge, slouching down naked on the sofa and staring at the snow reflected on the mountains opposite, before picking up his phone and grinding his teeth as he looked at the photo again. _Who is she, why do I need to know so badly, and why can’t I stop thinking about you._ He let the other voice answer that, sighing again before another sip. _Because all you’ve wanted for way too long is HIM. And it doesn’t matter how many pretty girls you bring back-_

_No, it’s not. I’m just curious._

_No, you’re not._

_I’m going back to bed._ He finished the beer, phone taken with him this time, and collapsed in the middle of the mattress staring at the ceiling. _Your smile and the way your eyes light up and the muscles in your back when I accidentally walked in-_

It didn’t take long for him to give up and wrap his hand around himself, room suddenly not full of that talkative silence but just him and the stupid fantasies he always gave in to sooner or later, swearing his way over the edge and then letting himself float off, no one there to give a shit about the mess and no one going to walk in and give a shit about it in the morning. _God I even called your name when I’m wanking alone in an empty house._

*

 _I wish I could just call you and ask you who she is._ He shook his head again, ridiculous obsessing plainly far over the line he’d previously admitted to himself, before almost jumping 3 feet in the air as the phone suddenly rang, quietly but so close to him and house so quiet, and then felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as he processed who it was. _Marc. At 2am. When I’m just about to go to sleep trying not to think about you again-_

“Hello?”

He listened for a few minutes, nothing much to be heard and no response to his repeated ‘hello’s, before feeling his eyes widen as the background noise changed and he found himself caught between embarrassment, horror, and joining in. _This cannot be happening-_

There was another moan from the phone, that one making Dani bite his lip and groan under his breath, before he felt the decision-making power of the wine kick in and reached into his boxers, listening and completely enraptured by what he was hearing to the point of almost forgetting how fucking _wrong_ it was, before he desperately tried to keep quiet as he pushed his head back, so so close, and then felt the choice made for him by the noise on the phone.

 _Oh my God._ He lay there, sticky but on cloud nine, but suddenly aware again how gross that had been, and felt all that pushed out of the afterglow as his brain started to really process what had tipped him over.

_You called my name. Oh my fuckin God. Unless it wasn’t what I thought and you have a girl and I don’t even know-_

*

“‘How to secretly be in love with your teammate, chapter 26. This chapter will mostly focus on wanking over him at 2am and obsessing over his Instagram photos featuring girls that aren’t you. I seriously need a fucking life.”

*

_‘How to secretly be in love with your teammate, chapter 26. This chapter will mostly focus on wanking over him at 2am and obsessing over his Instagram photos featuring girls that aren’t you..’_

Dani held his breath when Marc’s voice started, more through fear of being found out than anything else, before feeling everything suddenly seem to light on fire as he really took that in.

_Oh my God. That was you. And that was my name-_

*

 _Urgh go to sleep._ He turned over again to where his phone was still glowing, frowning at it and picking it up, before feeling his blood freeze as he saw the screen. _Oh my fucking God I’m calling Dani and oh my fucking God I have been doing that for a while-_

*

“Hello…” _OH MY GOD WHY DID I DO THAT NOT JUST PUT IT DOWN-_

 _Well, kudos for using words and stuff. Fuuuuuck-_ “Hi…”

“Hey, sorry. Didn’t mean to call you. Pocket dial. Hope you weren’t asleep?”

“No, no. Wasn’t asleep.” Cough. “But, er…yeah. Don’t worry.” _How are you so calm and ignoring what you MUST know just happened because the TIME-_

 _God you’re not going to mention it and I’ll never know or be able to look at you-_ “Cool. Right, then…I, er…” _Words, words, please-_ “I’ll let you go…”

 _Oh babe please don’t. Maybe drive down here and lick me clean._ “Hmm. Let me go?” _Fucking wine-_

“Yeah?” _Oh God he knows he must know-_

“I’d rather you didn’t. Do you wank over me a lot?” _I’ve surely been killed by tomorrow’s shame already._

 _Oh my fucking God._ Marc felt everything go white hot, panic and embarrassment almost physically painful and floundering around for a response, realising the extent and not finding one, before Dani spoke again and caused almost the same flash of reaction for different reasons.

“Does it help you find an answer if I tell you I joined in?”


	8. "I'm Alright (You Gotta Go There To Come Back)"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ:
> 
> This is designed as an alternative epilogue for Edge of Seventeen. You don't need to have read that AT ALL, but so you know. And I say 'alternative' because that story to me ends happily ever after, this is like an 'AU' epilogue, although set in reality. If that makes sense. Like a 'what if', based on that backstory and then this season.
> 
> So if you have read EO17, it fits into that world but later. If not, all the info you _need_ is here.
> 
> WARNINGS: This contains hard drug use (reckless not addicted) and is a little darker than normal. It's Angst!Marc ;). And it is all, ALL, fictional, as always.
> 
> It is also heavily inspired by the song, which is one of my favourites: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUi-YaH9LVA
> 
> You gotta go there to come back... ♥ 
> 
>  
> 
> _I'll take another punch for you_  
>  _Tie my hands behind my back, that way you cannot lose..._

Hector: Have you seen Marc?

Dani: No?

Hector: Ok, thanks

Dani: Is he ok?

Hector: I don't know. I've been trying to call for hours, texted, so have Alex, Emilio, his dad, his MUM, and the hotel. Mobile and room phone. No answer

Dani: Oh :/ I've not seen him but I will try calling him maybe?

Hector: Please, that would show it's not just us annoying him

Dani: Ok. Leave it with me.

Hector: Oh, he just replied. In his room and wants leaving alone

Dani: Ok. Is it bad?

Hector: Not seen him like this since 2011 tbh :/

Hector: Sorry to bother you with it, I know it probably hurts

 _You have no idea._ The older rider took a deep breath, putting down his phone and staring at the ceiling, before letting that sink in. _2011\. How time flies._

*

Marc: Leave me alone. I'm alone and I'm a mess and that is FINE because I HURT. It was bad enough already and I broke his heart and now LOOK

Marc: LOOK WHAT I DID IT FOR. NOTHING.

*

Jorge: You alright?

Marc: Just great

Jorge: You need me for anything, just say. Not a problem and never will be.

Marc: I cheated with Valentino

Jorge: What?!

Marc: That's why me and Dani broke up. I cheated with Valentino drunk out of my mind in Texas and it absolutely killed him and I make myself sick.

Marc: Didn't fuck him. He blew me in a bathroom because I'm a fucking whore

Marc: I had everything and now I have nothing because he was obviously a better liar than me

Jorge: Oh God Marc, don't. Or can I come over there?

Marc: Way I feel tonight I'll probably throw myself at you anyway so stay away

Jorge: Marc...

Marc: I'm not in my room anyway

Marc: I'm in KL 

_Ok well that's definitely not a good idea._

Jorge: Drunk?

Marc: Drunk! So I'm off that wagon too. And there's no Dani this time to rescue me from being pathetic so enjoy the next few years at the top because I don't think I'll catch you

Marc: See you in Cheste! Congrats for racing clean and still giving a fuck! 

*

Jorge: He's not in his room, he's in the city

Hector: Oh FUCK. He replied to you then?

Jorge: He did. I never knew him and Vale is what broke them up

Hector: WHAT?!

Jorge: Oh fuck, sorry thought you would know! Something happened and it destroyed Dani apparently

Hector: Oh God. I texted him too, that must have hurt. What the hell happened?

Jorge: "He blew in a bathroom because I'm a fucking whore" in Texas apparently

Hector: Right. Well now I'm seriously fucking worried

Jorge: Same. Nuria is calling, hang on

Jorge: Right sorry. So what do we do?

Hector: I guess I'll go into KL 

Jorge: I said we...

Hector: It's not your problem

Jorge: I'm nice like that. Meet me out front in 5, I'll get a driver

Hector: Right. Any idea where to?

Jorge: He's either going to be drinking somewhere high class or drinking somewhere anonymous. What do you think?

Hector: I think he'll be with the backpackers

Jorge: I agree.

*

Jorge: Sorry baby, bit of an emergency but I'm fine. I love you and I'll call you in the morning <3

Nuria: If you need me, wake me up X 

Jorge: Ok.

Nuria: Promise?

Jorge: Promise. X

*

"Right so...together or split up?"

"I would say split because it's quicker but you're you, so-"

"Hey! I'm good-"

"No, no. I meant I don't think it's a good idea having one superstar wandering round alone, never mind another one to look for him."

"Oh." The Mallorcan relaxed his shoulders again and nodded, taking a look around and suddenly conscious of the situation. "Yeah forgot about that actually. Yeah, ok."

"Ok. And you can fill me in on what you know about the Vale situation."

"Ok. And I'm going to try and keep texting him and get some more info, right?"

*

Jorge: I'll always give a fuck, mate. And no judgment here. Are you on your own then? I can send a driver or something later

Marc: Don't think I'll be coming back tonight. And really? No moral lesson?

Jorge: No moral lesson. And ok, I know the feeling. Be careful though, people might recognise you!

Marc: Don't care if they do. But I doubt it down here, apparently it's happy hour from 11 til 5 and the 'biggest selection of cocktails in KL'. I'm trying them alllll

*

"Bingo. Right, follow me." The Mallorcan headed into the nearest hostel and smiled at the receptionist, Hector frowning his puzzlement behind him but going along with it. "Good evening-"

"We're full."

"Actually we're just looking for someone. A friend of ours has broken up with her boyfriend and we're a bit worried she's out alone and drinking."

"Right..."

"She won't say where but she says it's happy hour from 11 til 5 and advertises the biggest selection of cocktails in KL."

"Ah, right. That's probably Xanadu. Two streets down, you'll hear it before you see it."

"Perfect. Thank you."

They walked back out onto the street, both pausing to look at each other for a second, before setting off where directed and Jorge starting to fill him in. _Here I go again, Marquez and Pedrosa relationship counsellor._ They did hear it before they saw it, long line of people outside, and stopped to wonder what to do before the bouncer closest to them seemed to notice and stare. Jorge looked back at his old communications manager, eyebrows raised in a silent question, and then took the nod to mean what it did and walked up to him.

"I want to go in." 

"Certainly, Mr Lorenzo. Just the two of you?"

"Yeah. Just me and him. Not going to make us wait, are you?"

"Of course not."

"Great. Didn't see Marquez did you? Don't want to run into him and someone said they did."

"No, Sir. But I've only been on the door 20 minutes so far."

"Ok, well...I'll take my chances. Thanks, mate." The Yamaha rider slipped him a wad of Ringgit and sloped past him, Hector following, turning the swagger up high and then stopping before the stairs to discuss it. "Right, now split?"

"Now split."

"Ok. Phone charged?"

"93%." The Communications Manager held up the phone and smiled sadly at the coincidence. "Text and then meet back here if we find him."

"Perfect. I'll start upstairs. I think there's 3 floors."

*

The music was loud, and everything was sticky. Hector made his way to the far side of the room, thinking it was easier to work his way back where he'd come, and felt his heart sink already at the size of the task. _Needle in a haystack._ He made his way through the room in a grid, made slightly easier by the amount of women in there, but slightly harder by Marc's height, before finding himself back at the door and none the wiser.

Hector: Can't see him down here. I'll head for the middle floor.

Jorge: Ok. I'm on the top floor still, there's two rooms and a separate bar.

*

One room definitely didn't contain Marc, that one more empty and easy to get through. The bar was also quieter, and Jorge felt his hope start to fade as he headed out on the terrace and still found nothing. _One more left._ He went to the bathroom first, washing his hands as no one else seemed to be bothering with, before feeling his breath catch and freezing as he looked over his shoulder in the mirror.

_Bingo._

Marc hadn't seen him, a lot of people in there anyway and music still loud, and the Yamaha rider watched as the younger man grinned into another kiss, pang in his chest as he realised how much like Dani the other guy looked, and then felt a different pang of panic as he watched the guy take a packet out of his pocket and hold it up to Marc, get a nod, and then they disappeared into the far cubicle again. _Oh fuck._

Jorge: Top floor bathroom

Jorge: be quick

He watched the one tick on Whatsapp resolutely not change to two or change blue, and then let out a growl of frustration before forcing his way down between the stalls to the end of the room.

"MARC! Open the door!!"

*

 _No fucking signal._ Hector growled at the useless black box in his hand and then decided to head upstairs, figuring staying still was just as pointless if Jorge didn't know where. _Please say you found him._

*

"Who issss it..."

"Jorge. Open the door and put that shit down."

"Jeje. Too late! Why are youuuu hereeee..."

"Too late." The Mallorcan leant his forehead on the door and took a deep breath. "Right well still open the fucking door, we're going."

"I'm not goinggg anywh-" There was a hiccup before two giggles, and then a loud bang as someone obviously hit something. "Oooopsss. Jaja. Don't feel great actually..."

"What did you take."

"Hmm. Urgh."

"MARC, WHAT did you TAKE."

"Noooo ideaaaaa...hey. Ufff."

"Open the fucking door, Marquez. NOW." He waited for another response before there was another bang and some other panicked language muttered in what he guessed was probably the other guy's voice, before the door suddenly banged open and the guy barrelled out, leaving the Yamaha rider pushed back against the opposite door and then staring at a crumpled 4 time World Champion sat on the toilet seat, that closed at least, leaning on the wall looking whiter than he'd ever seen him. _Oh fucking hell._

*

Hector checked his phone again as he got into the bar, growling at it, before the barman noticed and nodded towards the terrace, hopefully a signal that there usually had better signal, and then breathed a sigh of relief as the bars came back. And then panicked.

_Top floor bathroom_

_be quick._

_Call ambulance, lobby_

*

"Marc." He bent down in front of him, tapping his cheek and lifting his head slightly, trying to get eye contact, before feeling another wave of panic go over him again as the younger rider just mumbled, seemingly unaware of where he was or anything at all, and then suddenly pitched forward and threw up on the floor between the Mallorcan's feet. Jorge got a grip of himself, taking a deep breath, before wiping his sleeve over Marc's mouth and then crouching down to lift him up, ending up with his teeth gritted and a heavy, unresponsive Repsol Honda rider draped over his shoulder, staggering down the stairs through the crowd and then yelling for people once he got to the bottom and carefully laid him down. _If this is how this ends, I will kill you in return. And I'll tell everyone why, and she'll leave you like Dani left him, only you actually deserve it._

*

Hector: Done

"I need an ambulance. Cost doesn't matter. Now. Downstairs." He bit his lip as the barman seemed to grasp the severity of the situation and nodded, yelling into a phone and then nodding, pointing back down the stairs, Hector hoping that meant 'go and wait for it, it's on the way.' He took the stairs in twos, heart now hammering and mouth dry, before stopping at the bottom as he saw the bouncer from before joined by another, a little crowd of staff in the corner. 

"Marc!" He ran over, pushing through them slightly until they moved, and found Jorge's eyes snap up to meet his, the probable man to depose him crouched next to an unmoving reigning World Champion. _Oh my God._ "What-"

"He took this." The Mallorcan held up a packet of something and felt his voice shake for the first time, too much emotion looking back at him. _I know._ "I don't know what it is but I thought they can find out if I bring it-"

"Dnnnn."

They both felt their eyes widen and looked down at Marc again, that noise coming from him, before Jorge swallowed hard and bit his lip, head hanging as he realised what he was trying to say. _No, he's not here._

*

The lights outside were the first signal, and Jorge bent down again and hauled the younger rider up onto his shoulder, Hector guiding them out, before they were sat in the back watching him breathe, situation explained enough, they hoped, and packet of whatever-the-fuck-it-was handed over for them to try and figure it out. The silence was incredibly loud, both of them on complete panic and desperate not to let it show as the lights of the night flashed past at top speed, before Jorge suddenly leant back and let out a long, unsteady breath.

"I think we should tell him."

*

_'Any update on Marc?' Yeah, sounds so casual. Like I'm not unable to sleep just because you're in pain, despite how much you hurt me. Despite how much I know exactly how it is when he's there and staring at you and you're drunk and your brain shuts off and I hate being without you-_

Dani: Can you update me when you know he's ok?

He typed that out and then deleted it, a couple of times, and then put the phone back on the bedside cabinet and shut his eyes. _Just leave it. You already left him._

 _You say that like you wanted to._ He bit his lip, taking a deep breath, and then sat bolt upright as the phone suddenly started to ring, expecting Hector, panicking because of it, and then frowning at the name. _What?!_

"Hello?"

_"It's me."_

"I know. Why-"

_"Listen...we're in a bit of a situation and I thought you should know what's happening. I know you're not together anymore-"_

The Honda rider felt his blood run cold at that. _Oh my God._ "Is he ok-"

_"We're in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. Hector is with me. Marc is breathing but we don't know what he took-"_

"B-breathing-" He felt his chest constrict, immediate panic attack if that was all the positive information available, and tried to take in gulps of air and focus on what the Mallorcan was saying. _Oh my god oh my god-_ "Breathing? What? What happened? What did he do-"

_"He got drunk and took something. We're in the city-"_

"Where do I need to go-"

_"You don't have to-"_

"Send me the address." Already up and jeans being pulled on, he forced himself through another couple of breaths and then nodded, clothed and on the way out. "I'll meet you there."

*

It was torture, the slow pace of the drive. The driver knew the situation and Dani knew they were nowhere near legal, even at this speed, but being a MotoGP rider affected your perception of fast and slow. He kept his phone in his hand, knuckles white and desperate for it to light up with positivity, before finally they were there and he was running inside, babbling at the woman behind the desk and feeling his voice get louder and louder.

Dani: She doesn't know anything, where are you?

Jorge: Emergency room, he's being treated and we're sat to the right

He set off again at that, signs in English at least, and barrelled through the door before stopping dead at the sight of the two of them, slumped in chairs against the wall and faces set serious.

 _This really is serious._ The sight, somehow, seemed to make it sink in even worse and hit him in the face and he pulled in a couple of breaths before feeling it get too much and half collapsing; Jorge having noticed him, stood, and got in range to catch by the time he did, grabbing onto him and holding him up, eyes fixed on Hector behind them and feeling their eyes well up as the noise of Marc's teammate seemed to suddenly make it all real. _I can't imagine._

*

 _Oh God._ He opened his eyes slowly, body catching up with whatever had happened and feeling his brain start to register all the pain, before suddenly feeling everything coming back, mind flashing through millions of little moments and heart along for the journey, before he was left in a gravel trap at Sepang International Circuit taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself down. _Was that now or was it then._ He felt his breathing here and now start to speed up, clenching his hands and keeping his eyes shut, before shaking his head and feel the control start to go. _Did it even happen or is this when I actually wake up, in Moto2 in 2011 and everything's fine, and you never loved me at all._ That brought back the whole string of events of the current year, tears starting to roll, before he gritted his teeth as he almost felt the bump of hitting the floor in Malaysia, realising it was the same vision but it definitely came from this season, and then finally managed to take in a deep breath and slow everything down. _When I open my eyes, they will work._

*

"S-sorry." The Repsol Honda rider took the coffee with a shaky hand and took another deep breath, staring into space and giving Jorge and Hector the chance to exchange glances. _So what happens now._

"Don't be sorry, you've not done anything."

"I'm crying in public over the man I'm not even in a relationship with."

"Yeah but, you know..." Jorge trailed off and instantly regretted that, asked to explain and then resigned to it. "You know..." _Go on, it can't get much worse._ "It's Marc, you know? You and Marc."

"Was."

"Hmm. That's why you're sat here crying into your coffee like your world is ending."

"Don't." Dani gritted his teeth, one tear making a run for it down his cheek and feeling everything wobble slightly, before letting the Mallorcan wrap an arm round his shoulder, voice quieter and squeezing as he said the words.

"Look, mate. I know what happened, and I know it must have hurt you. But you're here for a reason that is never, ever going to go away. And I understand why you came when we didn't know if he was going to be ok, but now we do. More or less, we know he's going to be ok. And you're still here."

_And that's why I'm crying. Because I can't go home._

*

"Hey. You're awake." 

The words made Marc jump, almost, having been so sure he was alone and not daring to check. It takes a while for the voice to register, still not wanting to open his eyes, before a hand finds his and squeezes it, the younger man getting confirmation of who as he feels the ring finger. _Phillip Island, 2011. The week before everything changed._ "Jorge..."

 _Oh God._ The Mallorcan bit his lip, suddenly realising why there had been a panic, and why his eyes were still shut, and squeezed his hand again. _I hope this isn't a lie but there's no way, right?_ "You can open your eyes. It's 2015 and you're in KL. We're at the hospital because you went a bit crazy and needed some help. I promise, you can see fine."

"You promise me I didn't do it again-"

"You crashed yesterday. Well, no. You got forced off track yesterday. A lot of crazy stuff happened, and you went out in the city last night and got a bit out of control. Now you're fine, and you're not injured. I promise, on Nuria's life, you're fine."

 _Nuria._ He nodded at that, squeezing back, before managing to crack one eye open, and then the other, letting out a long breath and almost crying for joy as the image of a frowning Yamaha rider came into focus, and then felt another wave hit him as he suddenly realised they were alone in the room and they shouldn't be. _I broke your heart and he told you and he burnt me and I love you to death and you're not here._ They stayed like that for a few seconds, staring, before Jorge took back his hand and swallowed. "W-what happened-"

 _It's true therefore I say it._ "You had a breakdown, took something fucking stupid and collapsed in the bathroom of a club. Threw up on my feet, made me and Hector cry and embarrass ourselves, and cost us a fucking massive private ambulance bill and a night's sleep."

"Oh."

"It's dangerous enough what we do without fucking around like this and making people who care about you drag you out of toilets on their shoulder. And, if you ever, EVER do that to us again, I will kill you myself instead. OK?"

He got to his feet as he finished that, Marc staring wide eyed and lip wobbling, before turning and banging out through the door for effect, leaving the upset to turn to a frown to turn into a little huff, Jorge knowing exactly which buttons to press to wake him up and make him feel more like himself than the panicked little ghost hanging onto the bed. _People who care about you. And I know you do. And that, at least, is something a bit positive._

*

"You walk in there, you can't walk back out. You understand?"

"I know."

"Really? Because it's been a long and emotional night-"

"You're really asking _me_ that?"

"Ok. And you're doing it."

"You know what hurts more than Valentino Rossi sucking your fiance off?"

 _Questions I didn't think I'd ever hear._ "No..."

"Letting him get away with it. And I fucking hate what he did, or more what he let happen, but I fucking hate _this._ " The older rider's lip wobbled slightly as he looked away, taking a deep breath and coughing to get himself under control. "Who am I kidding, living without him forever? I mean, really? I had a sneak preview tonight and I fell apart in 10 minutes."

 _I've been asking myself that same question about you all fucking year._ "Dani?" He watched the smaller man go and then turn back, eyebrows raised and waiting, and found himself caught a bit on how to say it, pausing getting too long. 

"Spit it out."

"He, er...he won't do it again, but-"

"That's why I'm going in there, because I know that."

"Ok. And you know, right, that this can't happen again-"

"Yes-"

"No, I mean..." _I mean this is like a contract you can't rip up._ "I mean I think it would kill him."

The older man took in a sharp breath at that, biting his lip again, before closing his eyes for a second and sighing. _I know. I was kind of waiting for the call._ "Let's be honest, it kind of did this time. Except there's us."

"Us?"

"Us. And there will always be us, because there was before and now we care too much. Well, you're you and you do that, and I care too much. And it doesn't matter how many days or weeks or years I spend looking for anyone else, it will always be him. Always. And I already asked him for forever and meant every word."

"I know. But I also know that's a bit of a different reason."

"Did you catch what I said before?"

"No?"

"Well he does his drama fucking well, you know." There was a little kind of dark laugh before he sniffed and smiled with irritated affection. "But like I said, I fell apart in ten minutes. So it seems like a good deal to me: I hide the wine and calm him down sometimes, and he makes every single part of my life better. I don't work without him and I haven't done since December 2011."

"Ok." The Mallorcan smiled back at that, slightly blushing and hating himself for a accidental immaturity, before nodded and pointing at the door. "Then go! I annoyed him already so it'll be even better-"

"Wouldn't expect anything less-"

"Fuck you, Pedrosa.

"Sorry, only one man gets to do that." He smirked back, loving the blush, and then winked and turned back round and headed to the door, hoping the expression had said enough and then feeling everything warm as that got quietly confirmed.

"You're welcome."

*

"Hey."

He walked in, breath catching at the sight of him in the bed, and then took a deep breath and bit his lip as his eyes started to well up. _Hey baby. Would you like to come home?_

"D-Dani-"

"Hi."


	9. "Nothing Precious At All"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An alternate epilogue again...not necessarily what happened but I wanted these characters back for a while... Thank You so much!!

"Hey."

"Hi." She stared at him, wondering how it had ever got to this or anything close, and bit her lip as she felt the emotion start to bubble up.

"You, er...you want to sit?"

_No I just want to go home._ "Yeah..."

"Ok." Jorge pulled out a chair at the table nearest to them, let her sit in it, and then sat opposite. Taking his sunglasses off to reveal the true toll of the last few weeks. "Is there any chance this is going to work?" The words were quiet and said off into the distance, not quite able to hold the eye contact.

"That depends on you."

"Thought it might." The retired rider nodded at the waiter, ordering two coffees and sniffing slightly, before leaning forward on the table and taking a deep breath, eyes finally able to meet Bea's again. "I miss you so much I feel like I'm dying."

"That's not-"

"Hear me out. Please." He took the little nod as the assent it was and took another breath. "I miss you so much, I can't breathe. All the time. And the kids do. And I'm not saying that as a guilt trip, I'm saying that because I want you to understand that I really, really understand the reality of this."

"Ok..."

"And I'm sorry. Not just sorry for how stupid I was the other day, I'm sorry for not letting you know how much I love you all the time. I've called Marc, actually. I called Marc to-"

"What?!"

"I called him because there were things I had to say to him that instead I've been paranoidly yelling at you, and that's not fair."

"You fucking tell me you didn't-"

"I didn't say anything terrible. I explained why you'd probably called him crying, explained that I have problems being jealous, and explained why."

"Right..."

"And I asked him if I was right."

"Right?"

"About the way he is sometimes. With you. Proving he still knows you better."

"Right..." 

"And he admitted sometimes maybe it's true. And we talked about it. And I promised to not make it seem like you have to choose sometimes because I know I do, and he promised to stop doing that and remember you're friends regardless of me or whoever you're with."

*

"Marc, just stop it. Please."

"What?"

I rolled my eyes at the face and leaned across the table to poke him in the cheek to stop him sulking, then tried to hide the giggle as I watched Rosa lean forward and poke an unsuspecting Alex in the same way next to us, trying it out.

"Don't poke your dad."

"Yes please don't poke me." Alex grinned at her and then fake frowned and wagged his finger, taking her attention again and squeezing my knee under the table to signal I should carry on.

"Ok, Marc...I don't know what to say to you because I don't know the situation but stop sulking. And stop believing the worst. Dani-"

"Dani doesn't love me anymore."

"Alex." I signalled for my husband to cover our daughter's ears and then glared at Marc across the table once we were safe to use adult words. "Stop fucking around and trying to sell that shit to me. Dani adores you. He always will. Dani has been asking ME why YOU're so off. So forget it. One of you has to break this and make the first move and why not you? Since you're the one who stormed off."

"But-"

"He's probably just self conscious. I know the feeling. And you don't doubt how he feels for a second, you just make sure he knows how you feel. You keep chipping away until you break it down. Ok?"

"It sounds easy-"

"No, it's really difficult." Alex cut his brother off, letting Rosa hear us again, and shook his head at his brother. "Trust me, it's difficult but it's worth every second. And you'll manage it. Because I did, and you can beat me."

"You did-"

"Yeah, he did." I repeated the knee squeeze and leaned into Alex slightly. "I don't look like the person I was when I met your brother anymore. I've had twins. And it's hard. So it's hard too for him, I guess."

"But Dani's perfect."

"He doesn't feel perfect, I'm guessing. You've got to be patient, which I know is f...flipping difficult for you, but you've been through this before. With you. So why-"

"But I was never-"

"He's not you. He's the other half of you. So yes, he's going to act a bit different."

"Dani is my hero."

We all stopped, me and Alex looking at each other and Marc at Rosa - the speaker - and then looked at each other before Marc smiled at her and raised his eyebrows. "Dani is?"

"Dani is my hero because Dani always lets me ride on his shoulders."

"He does-"

"Also Dani is nice to my mummy when daddy crashes."

"He is." I felt the lump in my throat and felt Alex squeeze my leg under the table. "He is-"

"When daddy went to hospital, Dani bought me ice cream and let me ride around at Rufea until it was dark. Dani always gives me my favourite glass when he makes me a milkshake."

"Dani is the love of my life."

"I know." She grinned up at Marc and nodded. "Dani loves Marc and Marc loves Dani and mummy and daddy love each other too." Hiccup. "Where is Dani?"

"I'm just going to go and fetch him." I don't think Rosa heard the emotion in his voice but me and Alex did, coupled with the look we got. "I'll be back later and we can have a barbecue with your brother and Alexa, OK?"

"Will Dani be there?"

"Yes."

"Ok." She nodded and smiled, that fact enough, and then got distracted by Alex tickling her enough for me to get up and follow Marc slightly.

"You sure-"

"I'll never make a promise to her I can't keep. Yes, I'm sure we'll sort it out."

"Ok..."

He looked back at me for a second, taking a deep breath and looking away, and then nodded and looked back at me. "This has all been my fault, hasn't it?"

"No. Now go and get him and we'll see you at our house later."

"Ok." He thanked me in his eyes for the slightly kind rendition of the truth and then turned and walked away, headed back up to Rufea where Dani was watching Daniel try and practice and catch his sister up - and had leapt at the chance to get away from Marc for the day.

Alex: Hey I don't want her to hear this but you think they're going to be ok?

Livi: They will, I'm sure.

Alex: I love you, wife.

Livi: Jaja love you too

"Wait I can say that." He nodded as Rosa pointed at the bathroom and then trotted off, getting up and pulling me to my feet before staging a truly overblown Hollywood kiss, eyes locked on mine. "I love you."

*

"I want to come home."

"I want you to come home."

"But I can't do this again. You understand? I can't-"

"Never."

"Jorge, it's not that simple."

"It's very simple. You deserve better so I'll do better. Whatever it is, anything. I mean it, baby. I mean it and I'll never-"

"What's going to change right now?"

"It already changed. I talked to Marc."

"Ok, now what?"

"Now we accept their invitation to dinner, carry on talking about plans for the team, and I stop being paranoid."

"Ok..."

"And I give you this, and you read it, and then come home when you're ready."

*

He took a few deep breaths once he was parked, psyching himself up and then nodding, getting out and striding over to the side of the track, no one on it and lunch break happening, before jumping over one fence, walking over the track and then vaulting the other, some people noticing and then Dani getting nudged to turn round, which he did. And stared.

The younger rider made it over to him, unsure expression on Dani's face but something about the entrance giving it a little spark of hope, and then Marc watched as his eyes started to fill up as the speech came tumbling out.

"So I think I've been a bit of an idiot. Because I keep getting so paranoid and thinking surely it's going to end at some point because I love you so much and a fairytale can't be real. So I thought it was you, you know...trying to let me know that we'll stay together but it won't be perfect forever because nothing can be. And I've realised that actually you're the one who should be thinking that because I'm the one so wrapped up in myself that I didn't even realise. I didn't realise it bothered you so much because I just assumed you would know that you're beautiful to me, always. I didn't even consider it at all because honestly the only thing different I see in you since the crash is that you're just proving again why I love you so much. Livi kind of pointed it out that it's visible on you and honestly I didn't notice. We both have some scars, baby, and I know how it feels in some ways. All I care about is that you're ok. The panic when the guy called me - I can't explain. I don't speak French and he didn't know how to really explain it well without making me panic. So I panicked. Like, I told you I dropped that vase in the kitchen but I didn't, I threw it across the room because I panicked. Things like this aren't supposed to happen to us - we're meant to get hurt on the track, not on a fucking road in rural Switzerland. But you're ok. And I think I kind of forgot to let you in and let you know that I had to be like this for a while because I thought I couldn't do it any other way because it hurts so much to see you in pain or hurt. But you're ok and I just...I just didn't even think you wouldn't just know that I'd die for you or switch places with you or love you unconditionally. So can we just stop running around-" 

He got cut off at that as Dani moved forward and pulled him into a kiss, people who had been standing and listening wondering what the hell was going on at the world champion marching across the track then starting to grin, before they ended up forehead to forehead and Dani's fingers entwined with his, voice low.

"I think it all just got too much."

"No, I think the problem was not enough." Marc smiled as the older rider nodded into another brief kiss, before they realised the crowd and pulled away, hands still held in the middle, and Marc used his free hand to point at the line of bikes.

"RIGHT! EVERYONE, TIME TRIAL! NOW!"

*

_Please let you be here. Please God let you-_ Jorge opened the car door and got out, ears already straining for any sign of her, before taking a deep breath and opening the back door to unbuckle the kids, smiling and going through the motions and trying not to show it, watching them run up to the door and him follow, key poised in the lock before he instinctively grabbed the handle and turned, finding it unlocked. _Could be my mum. Or the cleaner. Or anyone-_

"Hello?"

He ducked his head in, expecting to see no sign and end up yelling for a while, before he was half wrestled out the way as the kids burst inside and saw her first, barrelling her into a hug as the retired rider stood in the doorway and stared, eyes locked on hers and feeling his cheeks get wet.

"Hey."

"H-hi."

"I thought maybe I'd unpack tomorrow-"

She lost that in a kiss as the former World Champion barrelled over and grabbed her, kids running after each other outside to the garden, Bea and Jorge ending up forehead to forehead pressed against the kitchen counter panting.

"I don't know-"

"No more sorry needed. Unless you f-"

"I'm never going to fuck up again." He pressed another gentle kiss to her lips, fingers entwining with hers, and then leant against her again and closed his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby. And that was never in doubt."


	10. "Rainbows and Pots of Gold"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marc/Vale...uses the lyrics quite a lot. You can maybe guess what it deals with...
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> And thank you <3

_I heard you’re doing well…_

Marc took another sip of the drink, not really sure how he’d ended up here – true in so many ways but especially here, in his parents living room nursing something inappropriate from the liquor cabinet and writing a letter to his friend – ex-friend – ex-much more.

He wasn’t sure anymore. In the days immediately after Sepang, or even after the Thursday press conference, he just thought it was the pressure pushing him. He’d been prepared to feel the sting of it and move on. Assen had already changed it from what it had been to what it became, but nothing extreme. They decided, seemingly mutually, that it was going to be too difficult to carry on when there were moments on track. They put their careers first, and then they moved on. Kinda.

_Do you ever think of me? Do you remember all our stupid dreams?_

He remembered, more than anything, the feeling from the Press Conference. No word of it, no nothing – and feeling that cold chill moving up from his toes as it started to sink in that it wasn’t a joke. It was really what the Italian thought. And ok, they had disagreed on Assen. They hadn’t really fucked since Montmeló, when Marc had already felt that it was becoming a problem – feeling bad and going to find a rival to make you feel better? Never a good idea. But it had started with Valentino planning on retiring soon, Marc set to take over so to speak – laps of the ranch and stolen kisses and more in the paddock. Just physical passion with an undertone of something else that they stayed well away from in 2013. 

_Rainbows and pots of gold…so much to prove before we got old._

Something had changed when Marc won the title. He’d felt it in himself, and in the different dynamic. He noticed the things he’d been too caught up in his hero complex to think about. He noticed how he never decided when or where, and he noticed how the conversations they’d used to share about the future – admittedly hopelessly naïve – had started to get shut down. But that had seemed, at the time, like a natural reaction to them becoming more even on track. 

_I lost my way but found my track. I’m sorry if I never listened back. I’ve been round I’ve been up and down…_

He looked down at his phone again, that message just there and teasing, and sighed as he slouched back in the chair and took a sip of the drink. He hadn’t listened, that was true enough. And Marc had tried to make him listen. 

Marc: What are you expecting me to be able to reply?

_How’s your car and how’s your life? How’s my friend, when’s she gonna be your wife? I’m sitting up writing down, all these things I sometimes dream about…_

Marc: I’m writing you a letter, email whatever. I’d rather we didn’t talk anymore like this tbh. I thought you’d deleted my number?

Vale: From my phone. Still remember though.

_I knew your number off by heart. It’s the only one I liked to talk. It wasn’t me using you – I trusted you, one of the few…_

Vale: I didn’t mean it to be you, you know…I meant it to be him. I just…

Marc: Just

Vale: I just listened to the wrong people and went crazy. And I’m sorry

_We had some laughs, had some rows…and in the end the walls came down._

Marc: Yeah well so am I

_You’d like the place I’m living now. It’s a shame you can’t come around._

Vale: I’ve changed. Really.

Marc: So have I. And that means I’m not listening to your shit anymore. I loved you and I tried and I can’t be bothered anymore. The people in my life have shown me why they’re here and you’re not one of them anymore

Marc: So sell me out, cry, apologise, whatever you want…

Marc: It doesn’t make a difference. Good luck and I’m sure I’ll see you in parc ferme

_I’ve grown a lot since we last spoke, got myself together and fixed what was broke. I wonder if we’ll talk again. Have a drink together just like then?_

Vale: Do you miss me?

Marc: No. I miss who I thought you were

Vale: So do I

_I suppose it’s different now, it’s new…whoever points the finger at who…_

Vale: You just have to understand how it was

Marc: I understand how it was. Goodnight. 

He got up with slightly shakier fingers than he wanted to admit, screwed up the bit of paper, and then headed out into the back garden to put it in the barbecue and then watch it burn.

Marc: This is really bad timing but I have to tell you before I might not dare ever say it

Marc: I think I love you.

He switched the phone off, headed back up to bed, and then stared at the ceiling for a while. _Here we go again. But I think this time, it might be real._

*

He felt his breath catch as he opened the message, expecting something very different after the Honda rider had seemed more distant lately, and then felt warmth start to spread through him. _If someone stole your phone-_

*

He didn’t turn it back on until 11am, watching the notifications light up, before he saw the letters pop up and steeled himself for the inevitable.

BF: I love you too

BF: I guess you switched your phone off?

BF: I hope no one stole it…

BF: I land at 9:30

BF: If someone did, just let me know before I drive up.

Marc: No one did

Marc: I’m sorry I ruined that big moment a bit, eh? But I love you. And you’re on the way?!

He got up as he heard the doorbell, feeling the butterflies start to fly around, before walking over and pulling it open, staring at the man on the other side of the door holding a piece of paper.

“Hey. I, er…need your help.”

“Ok…” The younger man grinned, everything so downplayed in the best way, before reading the first few lines and feeling his eyes go wide as he read the parties involved and stared back at him.

“First impressions?”

“Terror.”

“Same. Second?”

“Sign it.”

“Ok.” The older man smiled, that the one last opinion he cared about, before grabbing Marc to pin him up against the wall and smiling at the expression on his face. “Now that thing you said before…”

“You know…” Mac smiled into the kiss, pulling him up the stairs as clothes started to disappear, “When we chose Spread the Red as this year’s campaign, you didn’t HAVE to join in-“

“To be really cheesy…” He smiled down as Marc pulled him onto the bed, everything a bit less rushed now, and then half shrugged and laced their fingers together into the kiss. “I’m tired of being blue.”


	11. "I Miss You Now"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! <3

Hi.

I'm not really sure where to start…I just found myself thinking about you again and I hate how we said goodbye. I know I probably came across wrong but that's not how I meant it. Truthfully, I meant to tell you that it has been a pleasure racing you because you're so good, and were such a great teammate - and a lot more.

We always got on well, ever since you walked into the garage in Valencia and just seemed so starry-eyed by the whole thing. Honestly I was kind of nervous of you…I thought you were going to hurt yourself or hurt someone else or get overwhelmed. I think that's why I probably overreacted a bit to what happened in Aragon. I'm sorry for that, too. That was a bit too personal.

Anyway.

I don't know if you know it, but you're incredible. I think everyone realized that in 2013 straightaway, but I don't think people realized the behind the scenes. I did. I know the feeling, when you're suddenly thrown up there into the limelight and everyone wants a piece of you. I didn't deal with that very well…you know I don't like the media much…but you seemed to take it all in your stride. Or that's what I thought, until that chat we had in Brno when everyone had gone and somehow you were still there - and happy for me, even though you'd lost your first race of the year.

I don't know how to say this to you but you've changed my life.

I got so close to leaving. I got so close to just walking away and giving up, and I almost did - really did - when I got off the bike in Qatar in 2015. And then there you were, saying all the perfect things…somehow knowing exactly what the perfect things were. And I let you in a bit, and you didn't let me down. I don't know if I would have come back if it wasn't for the reigning world champion keeping me sane through all that physio. You were my rock and I think you know that, and then I think I ruined it.

I noticed you in Moto2. Sometime in 2011. And I thought it was kind of funny, having this crush on this guy so much younger and way out of reach. And then they told me you were going to be my teammate and I felt that kind of painful laughter you get when fate is a bitch but in the best way. I got to spend more time with you, but I couldn't have you. Glorious torture. I think I managed ok to be honest - I don't think you had a clue? And it became just something normal…honestly I thought it would fade when I found out that you really were an arrogant prodigy…except that you weren't. I know you play the game more than me and Jorge, but you're never not you. You're always Marc, and I started to realize that and it started to get harder. 

Then Brno, and that night we still haven't talked about.

I guess we both remembered it though, because I don't think what happened over Christmas would have happened without Brno, right?

Anyway. I was injured, we got closer…I had decided you must just be having some fun with me. I mean, you never stayed over or anything, right? Except now I realize that I simply didn't ask if you wanted to. I had my idea of how you felt and I explained everything away so that it fit it. But now I don't know how you felt or feel. All I know is that I miss you now and I feel like I need to apologize.

Marc, you're one of the most incredible people I've ever got to know. Every second I spent with you trying to convince myself I didn't love you was stupid. I'm not saying this now because I expect anything - I'm fairly sure I've blown it. But I love you. Just for who you are.

I don't know what else to say other than I love you, and I'm sorry I was too much of a coward to tell you before. I'm sorry if I ever made you think I didn't care. All those nights I waved you off and the lunches that ended with a hug and then driving away…every single time, what I wanted was for us to leave together. To go home, to our home. And I'm so stupid for making you think otherwise.

Anyway, again. I love you. So don't let me hurt you anymore, just enjoy everything you have because you deserve it. Keep being you, and if you need me for anything you know I'll be here. 

I hope you find someone who loves you like I should have.

Love,

Dani

x

*

Marc: I miss you too

Dani: You shouldn't. Be happy <3

Marc: You love me

Dani: Yeah. But you don't have to reply

Marc: I'm in Milan with a girl

Marc: She's not you

Marc: Were you drunk?

Dani: No

Marc: Do you want to ask again, then?

Dani: Ask?

Marc: If I visit...

Dani: Oh...really?

Marc: ?

He took a deep breath, eyes starting to well up, and then typed the words.

Dani: Do you want to stay over?

Marc: Would love to x


	12. "High As The Ceiling"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another tiny little one. Mainly aimed at letting me chillout for a few minutes when I write!
> 
> I'll try and get back to my best soon though...and thank you so much!

_Oh shit._

The Repsol Honda rider cringed and laughed to himself in glorious pain, feeling his head go a little light, before groaning and burying his head back in the pillow.

_How much did I have to drink._

*

"You should just do it-"

"Seriously don't even try-"

"Marc, TRUST ME. YOU SHOULD JUST DO IT."

"Stop it!" The younger rider laughed at the expression of pure horror on Dani's face as he pawed him away, and then collapsed into another fit of giggles as the older man rolled his eyes and then swayed on his feet. "I don't actually want her-"

"Why not!" More wide eyes. "Why would you not!!"

"Because…" _Don't say it._ "I don't?"

"Ok if you ask me…you need to stop worrying and just-"

"Stop worrying?" He raised his eyebrows, staring back at his teammate across the balcony and letting the music throb in the background, before taking a deep breath. "Just do it-"

"Yeah, just do it! What's the worst-"

"LOTS OF THINGS. Why do you w…" He hiccuped, giggled and then carried on. "Why do you want me to text her so badly-"

"Oh no I don't." The older man smiled and took another sip of his drink. _I want to lock you in a room away from all other humans._ "I don't, I just want you to start enjoying yourself-"

"Hmm well…I'm enjoying this..."

"Yeah me too but that's a little different. I'm not hot."

"Looooool." The younger man drew the word out, making much more of it than necessary, before smiling to himself and looking away as he took another sip. _Course not._ "Well I'm not going to message her because she's not hot. To me."

"Seriously…"

"You really think she is-"

"Well I don't know, I just thought you would-"

"Ah you think you know my type?"

"Well maybe…dark hair, dark eyes…you know-"

"Yeah that's true. Dark hair, dark eyes. Also? Male." He let that sit between them, Dani's breath audibly catching, before looking back at him and praying his voice would hold steady. "So still think I should just dare? Tell everyone the truth-"

"Ok maybe not-"

"See-"

"Maybe some people though. Maybe some people would have their life changed by that."

"Yeah, sure. Like who? All the straight people I've always fallen for and had to ignore?"

"Well, you know. Maybe, just maybe, they were doing the same thing."

"Huh." That made him sit back slightly, everything sounding more sober but both still fucked, before he seemed to piece it all together, grab and empty the bottle, and then stared back at Dani. _Hang on a second-_ "You're not even surprised-"

The older rider grabbed him to cut him off, ending up pressed against the wall and everything suddenly on fire as his brain caught up with what was happening and he attacked Marc with the kiss, before they were left panting in what suddenly seemed much more like silence.

"Dani-"

"It's ok. Just proving a p-"

Marc repeated the trick, pulling him in and shutting him up, before smiling into it and then resting their foreheads together.

"Does this mean there's one less straight person to dream about-"

"Don't tease, I know you're just drunk-"

"I am drunk." The younger rider nodded and leaned into another sloppy kiss, hands starting to wander and expression completely stoned. "So I'm just _honest_."

*

_Oh SUPER SHIT._

The next time he raised his head he suddenly realized he wasn't alone, heart rate hitting the ceiling and mouth going dry, before he started to remember little snippets and am arm snaked under the covers to pull him in.

_Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's you!_

That made him high in a different way, dropping back onto the pillow and taking a deep breath, before turning over and coming face to face with his favorite face.

_It's actually you._

"Hey, if you regret it, let's leave it now and just forget-"

_Idiot._ "Good morning."

"Good morning…"

"Can we-"

"Yeah let's just leave it-"

"Nooo…" The younger rider smiled at the expression on his face, moving in closer and letting a smile take over, before locking his eyes on Dani's and raising his eyebrows. "I was just going to ask, can we have room service, please? Because I'm tired and my ass hurts."

That made Dani blush and then giggle, getting the point across, before he murmured into the kiss as his teammate grinned and leaned in, eventually snuggling back down.

"Oh. Ok then. Sounds like a plan."

"Good. Then I guess we'll need to talk-"

"I want you." The older rider blushed slightly at how that had tumbled out.

_Oh my God._ "O-ok-"

"I mean…sorry. When I say that I just mean I didn't end up here just to see you walk out in a few hours and forget…I mean, it's not just a crush or a fuck…" _Please-_

"Well then I want you, too." _Maybe this is a dream._ "So-"

"Shhhh." Dani smiled into the kiss, more in it and searching for that point where they just clicked together perfectly, before nodding and lacing his fingers through Marc's. "Now no more talking-"


End file.
